Sunday Bloody Sunday

To all my armchair athletes out there who aspired to one day be that hero scoring the winning goal in game seven in OT to capture Lord Stanley, or rip a grand slam or hit for the cycle in the MLB, or even win the NBA Slam Dunk Competition (man that is so overrated these days, all you need is to hire a choir and park a car on the court to win)....but I digress. Now those aspirations have faded and you’ve been snapped back to reality resorting to beer league softball, intermediate floor hockey or a pick-up game on the court that lasts five minutes before getting winded and in desperate need of an oxygen tank or inhaler. Now before you get all depressed and want to huddle in the fetal position on the couch while eating Doritos in your PJ’s I have some news that might make you feel better about yourself….it might even make you laugh.

This past Sunday you may have heard that Thomas Levet won the 2011 French Open at Le Golf National. However during this tournament he was severely injured having his shin broken and is now in need of an operation which includes a metal plate and several screws inserted to ensure it heals properly. This injury has now cost him the chance to participate in the upcoming British Open. Now you may ask “Wow how did a golfer get injured that badly?”…. one word STUPIDITY! Okay that might be harsh, but he was injured by celebrating his win in a tradition of jumping into a course lake.

The incident got me to thinking of other weird sports injuries that have occurred in various sports, so here’s a small but funny list:

-San Diego pitcher Adam Eaton was placed on the DL when he stabbed himself while trying to open a DVD he had purchased.

-Cardinal’s kicker Bill Gramatica tore his knee after jumping up and down to celebrate a field goal, almost costing him his career (it was his kicking knee).

-Tigers Chris Brown was noted for missing a remarkable number of games (over 250 between 1984 and 1988) due to bizarre claimed injuries such as a bruised tooth, and he was nicknamed "Jake" by teammates convinced he was no more than a malingerer. The last straw for Tigers manager Sparky Anderson in 1989 came when Brown missed a game after complaining that he "slept on his eye wrong." The Tigers released him soon thereafter, and Brown never returned to the major leagues.

-Ken Griffey missed a game after his jock slipped and pinched his “juniors” before a game.

-David Seaman an English soccer keeper dislocated his shoulder while reaching for the remote (shout out to all my armchair athletes).

-Milton Bradley tore his knee while arguing with the ump (couldn’t have happened to a better guy).

-Pitcher Joel Zumaya hurt his wrist while playing Guitar Hero.

-John Smoltz scalded himself while ironing a shirt….while he was wearing it!

I’m sure the list could go on and on and you might all have your favorite stories, so feel free to post them in the comments and I hope this has resurrected your ego. Pro athletes may have their time to shine, but some shine dimmer than others ;)